I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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