I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
