mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Randomize
