I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
