You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
