I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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