He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
