If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Actions speak louder than pants.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
