Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
