whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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