I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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