I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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