I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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