i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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