can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
