dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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