"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
