Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
