even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
