I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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