I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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