and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
