just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
