i permit you to call me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
