matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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