i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
