Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
