Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
