I think im going to throw up on grandma
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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