My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
