He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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