we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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