I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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