i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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