I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
