Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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