its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
