That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't notice because vodka
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They are going to name an STD after you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
