to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
