I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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