I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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