he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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