Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
