i would punch a child for taco bell
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
