You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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