You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
