Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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