you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
