my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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