If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
