Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
