If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His hands were made for my vagina.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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