today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We smell like vodka and hangover
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