it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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