They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
