So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
