just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
